I dont remember when the last time I was this excited. Maybe when I stumbled upon the Creative Circus and found my niche in advertising. Or when I landed my job at SoDA and ultimately traveled the world as a remote employee.
Well today is a special day because I stumbled onto something else.
After over a year of “what am I going to do with my life, I have the dream life but somehow it’s not fulfilling anymore.. I’ve outgrown the solo travels, the hostels, the budget backpacker life, I’ve “found” myself and I’m pretty damn happy with how far I’ve come… now what??”
This very website started out in 2015 as a duo project. My friend and I wanted to combine our passion with purpose to create a culturally curated subscription box with items procured from different countries. After several weeks months of planning and brainstorm sessions, It came to a complete halt due to unforeseen circumstances. I still remember the moment she spoke to me as we were about to board our flight to Dubai. Take creative control over it, she said. Go wild with it. You have big dreams and visions, don’t let this hold you back. And for a few months it was put on the back burner.
As I began to travel more on my own by 2016, I thought: what a perfect chance to make a travel blog!
Well, I tried. turns out I didn’t really enjoy writing and documenting as much as I did staying out in nature to take photos and going deep into the night editing in photoshop. So that’s what I did with this blog. Kinda. Something felt like it was missing.
I wanted something… “more”. I’m sure we all felt this way some point in our lives. In this first-world, privileged life, it’s too easy to get caught up in feeling unsatisfied with everything and anything. Still, I floated around the world throughout 2017, thinking that I was trying to run away from being an adult or avoiding this “what am I supposed to do now” question.
So many other things I thought I’d do next failed.
Quinoa and healthy catering? Fail
Teaching English? Fail
Volunteer work? Fail
Farming or eco green stuff? fail.
Work in a big ad agency? errr.. could’ve done that straight out of ad school but didn’t.
The thing about this list is.. I didn’t actually fail because, well… I didn’t really try. Somehow, deep inside I knew that I won’t give 100% and I couldn’t take any more steps forward because of it. A lot of my inner battles were about this - of wanting to want something. Wanting to want to start this or that business. Wanting to want compassion for teaching kids or saving animals. But it never happened, because let’s face it.. it’s not really ME.
After all, it’s hard to direct yourself when you kind of know what you don’t want but at the same time, haven’t really realized what you do want…
So when I came back home few months ago I shared to many people about my current situation. IT. WAS. HARD coming back home. the first night in my bed I slept a straight 17 hours and when i woke up... i swear it was like waking up from a dream. a year-long dream of adventure, travel, and seeing the world. or like stepping out of a time machine set to the past and wondering... Did any of it even happen? I've never felt so lost.
All I had were memories and pictures. some beautiful, some butt-ugly.
But in the end, I knew that I couldn’t give up traveling. Being on the road is worth all the discomfort i've endured. Staring out the window of a moving car, boat, plane, gives me peace.. It’s where inspiration comes easily and my most intimate thoughts are heard the loudest.
I even asked myself “why don’t I pursue photography?? It’s one thing that I don’t mind losing sleep over” Others have asked me the same, like “how come you don’t just become a photographer?”
My reply was: Stop saying that like it’s EASY!
but the comforting reality is that the camera has been the one constant hobby/passion/creative outlet since I could remember.
And instead of trying to stop myself from traveling to settle down like “all normal adults”.. maybe climb a proper career ladder or invest in some house & bla-di-blaa.. my closest friends and family surprisingly started to encourage me to keep going. keep traveling to find… whatever I’m trying to find.
So I dropped all my half baked ideas and decided to pursue photography. But…. How? What? Where?
LITTLE DID I KNOW that the entire time I was feeling soooo lost jumping from one place to another with my huge backpack and tiny camera, I was taking photos that would serve as stepping stones to something better.
This is so much more to me than a camera. It’s my creative outlet. It’s something that pushes me out of bed and carries me up mountains. It helps me overcome my fears and experience new things. It opens my eyes to how I’m treating the planet and inspires me to make changes. It’s my conversation starter when I’m feeling lonely and wanting to make new friends. It’s a connection to likeminded people, a community of creatives and visionaries.
Dont give up on your passions. Grow them. Nurture them. LIVE through them. Because you never know where life will bring you.